Listen up Ladies

I usually do not do this, mainly because I like to view myself as a young and passive person, but with each year the elder person in me becomes more visible. Yet, I have begun to see a trend that I cannot help but address. Yes, I know no one reads my posts, but maybe this will serve as a reminder for myself. If there is one thing I have noticed about my generation, it is the dating game. No, I have not kissed dating goodbye and I am certainly not opposed to people dating. In fact, I'd argue that it is a healthy developmental stage (within the bounds set by God). If the opportunity arose, I would certainly be dating. For me, I have come to understand why God has so diligently protected me from serious relationships. It could be argued that one of my greater strengths is compassion, but it could be argued that it is also my greatest weakness. Listen. Do not make your boyfriend your charity case. I get it, I am a psychology and social work major, if anyone enjoys the challenge of transforming a person, it is myself; yet, interpersonal relationships are not the place for personal transformation. Notice I said transformation, not growth. Growth is a must in relationships. The current emphasis on relationships pains me for several reasons. First, by constantly placing your worth by your relationship status you inadvertently place my worth by my relationship status. Yes, it is true...I have never had a boyfriend, but your constant emphasis on needing or having a boyfriend places me as a lesser person. While I can handle that, there are a lot of girls that cannot. Be aware of your actions. My lovely friend once pointed out something that I absolutely adore: actions are often considered sin when they harm another person. Isn't that amazing? That God cares so intimately and deeply about everyone that He makes hurting one another sinful. So while it may seem innocent to express your need for a "man", it may also be sinful. Especially, if you've accidentally or purposefully made someone feel less. Second, if you've been a part of the "non-dating" group (holla to my ladies), then you too may have adopted this sinful attitude. I did. I quickly became convinced that I was worthless without a hottie to take me to the prom or whatever the major event of my life was. Thus, I have officially contributed to the cycle, and for that, I am sorry. But know this, your beauty is not defined by the boys that acknowledged it, but rather by the man that died for you. I'm not the prettiest flower in the garden, but the gardener spend His life investing in my beauty. This may be cheesy, and I really don't care. All I know is that this has been on my heart, and how I wish someone would listen to an awkward girl who was never asked to prom but believes her prince is on his way.