To Be Fat Like Me

As many of you know, I was called fat by a customer. I assumed I would bounce back after a day or so of moping only to find myself leaving the gym in tears. This is not a post for self-pity, but rather an attempt to work through this without a therapist (haha).

So there I was in the gym, working out with my dad and sister. At first I was fine, but as we continued to lift weights I noticed the difference in my waistline. I was immediately discouraged. Instead of working through it, I decided to quit lifting weights and try some cardio.

As I was running, I felt the emotions hit. All of the sudden, I kept saying I can't do this, I just can't do this. Now let me take a brief break here: when I exercise I sweat like a 300 pound man. It is horrific. So anyway there are at least four cute guys in there, I'm feeling fat, and I look like I've jumped out of the pool. Horrific, I know. So there I was sweating, chubby, and discouraged. All of the sudden, I slammed the stop button walked out and cried. I cried because I was embarrassed, I cried because I felt helpless, and I cried because I didn't think I could do it.
I titled this To Be Fat Like Me because no matter what anyone says I have to discover the truth for myself. I have to believe that I can do this no matter how many people believe in me. I'm trying my best to get to that point. So why am I writing? Because until I believe in myself I need you to believe in me. Believe I can find myself to be beautiful, believe I can live a healthy lifestyle, believe I can change. Believe for me until I can believe for myself. And most importantly pray for me. Pray pray pray. I love you all.

Peace&blessings.