I Fed My Fears. I Feed My Hope.

God is trying to tell me something--something big, something important, and if I do not listen up, I will miss His message. The other day, my boss blatantly told me to quit feeding my fears. I stood baffled at the brilliant revelation. How did she know? Am I that transparent? What she said really struck me. I've thought about it off and on for a while now, and then God tried to bring it up again. My friend, Gianna Jessen, is one of the loveliest ladies I know. She inspires me everyday, and I am so honored to call her my friend. Her facebook posts are so poetic as she describes each moment of her day with precision and clarity. In fact, I've never seen anyone live as beautifully as Gianna. Every moment is precious, every detail is significant, and subtle hints are giant revelations. It was while conversing with her that I realized I do not live, I exist. I shared my deep concern with her, and her response(s) was beautiful. It was in this moment that I placed my biggest desire and my biggest fear on the table--go to Africa. The truth is, I fed my fears, but now I choose to feed my hope. The hope that God will get me to Africa no matter how challenging, how OCD I get, or how worried my parents become. I will go to Africa. I have fed my fears that I am fat. How? I eat ice cream. I have fed my fears that everyone hates me. How? By finding those that do. BUT. I choose to hope. Readers, let it be known that from this day, August 23, 2012, I choose to feed hope. I have fed my fears long enough. I'm ready to allow something positive to grow. Peace & Blessings.